How To Balance Being a Non-Traditional Student and a Mom to Two

“I don’t know how you do it all!” Non-traditional Medical Student. Mom of two. Wife. This must be the most common response when I meet people and they learn about the many roles I have in my day-to-day life. The real strategy is less about “doing it all” and more prioritizing what is important to you. While being a non-traditional medical student and mom are both full-time jobs, the key is finding a balance between those two top priorities, and then learning to be kind to yourself on letting the less important things go when they don’t get done.

Setting a Routines as a Mom

While the day-to-day time commitment ebbs and flows with my school responsibilities, setting a routine greatly helps with keeping on track. What I’ve found works best for me is waking up a few hours before the kids and getting a few hours of productive work done with a cup of coffee in a silent house. And then the same after the kids are in bed at night. The kids get my full attention once they wake up knowing I’ve already had a solid start to my studying and again for the dinner and bedtime routine knowing I’m going to get a few more productive hours after they go to bed. Come exam weeks this routine may change and there are inevitably sacrifices along the way but finding set times for both dedicated study time and dedicated time with my family helps keep the mom guilt at bay.

It Takes a Village

The biggest challenge I find is learning to accept that most of the time, taking care of the kids and school are usually as much as I can get accomplished in a day. The cleaning, cooking, laundry, and dishes can wait. All the other errands that need to get run often don’t. For things that still really need to get done, outsourcing as much as possible is usually the way to go. My husband is usually able to step in and take a lot off my plate, or having a nanny or grandparents and family to offer additional support is a great benefit. It truly takes a village and often asking for help is one of my biggest weaknesses. Yet, coming in on the end of my second year, it’s been one of the biggest areas I’m learning to give myself grace and know that “doing it all” is not realistic unless I want to find myself burnt-out and stretched too thin to be successful at what is important, both school and my kids.

It is possible to be both a non-traditional medical student and a mom at the same time. It may be easier at times and feel like endless sacrifices the next. It is just as important to find a balance between your priorities and taking care of yourself. So, although it may look like I am - I certainly don’t  “do it all.”